No matter what, you are going to be ok.

If somebody had said this to me some years back (and even sometimes now also), I would have thought, yeah right, a nice way to think but really?

Strange that a daily practice of simply pausing, to find some middle ground and stability in the chaos has completely transformed this. Simply getting in touch with deeper wisdom and stability that was always there but had just been covered put me back in touch with this innate sense of okness that is never depleted, regardless of circumstances.

I make no excuses for talking about death quite a bit in my work, it may sound a little odd but when we get ok with death, it can put an awful lot into perspective.

My wake-up call into this lifelong work was born from death. Seeing a life ebb away whilst the occupant of said life so desperately wanted it all back to try it differently a second time around, certainly stops you in your tracks. My life changed that day, but even now I need a little reminder now and again to put things back into perspective, to know that no matter what, it is going to be ok.


I had a little moment yesterday whilst out driving. As I approached a little roundabout, I indicated right, the road was clear so I entered the roundabout, a car approached from my left and didn't give way and came right across the front of me, I slammed on the brakes and was perhaps just a few inches away from a collision. As I looked up, the person in the offending car I think was ready for a tirade to be given to them or at least a long hard listen to a car horn. In that little millisecond, my wake-up call from all those years back came to the fore, that stable ground that years of practice had created was there for me to stand on. I mouthed the words, "it's Ok" smiled and we were on our way.

It got me thinking about how our lives are filled with these little moments where we have a split second choice, we either bite the hook and get caught up in the storylines of life or we step back, notice we are hooked in and breathe, move on, no big deal. I can't say I always catch these moments, nor should we strive to be perfect (what is that anyway, just another stick to hit ourselves with?)

If our lives are made up of these little moments, what if we looked at the bigger picture, what if we got to the end and realised we had just been caught up in all these storylines and only then saw we had a choice but it was too late?

It may sound like nothing, a little moment on a non-descript mini roundabout, but what if the scenario was different? I could have held on to that little storyline all day and then adding to it could be another little moment, say somebody said something to me that I didn't agree with, or something didn't go to plan, all things adding up to make a collective life of suffering. It isn't far from the realm of possibility, the two choices on that little roundabout were a hair's breadth apart.

Joy, freedom, there was a time I thought they might be in getting life to line up how I wanted it to, but I've come to wonder if joy and freedom are in these little moments of choice, I am inclined to think that at least some joy and freedom if not most of it, is found right there in those little moments of choice every day, every hour, every moment.


I don't want to pretend this is easy, the pull to react is strong, it is wired into us and maybe there are times when we just do react full stop. But by sharing this, I suppose I want to share the message of being curious, noticing when we are caught up in the storyline of something, notice when we carry it with us day after day, observing how we can let go, loosen the grip and most of all notice that there is at least some freedom to be found here.

  1. Notice when you are locked in and hooked

  2. Take a big deep breath, know that you are going to be ok, reconnect with that innate sense of okness.

  3. Relax, there is a choice, a path to joy and freedom, it is always there and always will be, even if we miss it at first.

May you find a feeling of peace, joy and freedom that no situation, circumstance, or person can alter, at times it may be hidden from view but know it is always there just waiting, in the choices we make.

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