Enough


What if you say to yourself in a very compassionate way "I am enough today as I am"


It is a radical notion isn't it? in a world where we are taught to tell ourselves that we are never enough. I wonder how much healing would occur if we just said these words to ourselves each day.


I think psychologist and humanist Carl Rogers was on to something when he said


"The curious paradox is when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change"

It takes a bit of getting your head around, it truly is a curious thing, something that gets completely missed in our striving to be something else which in turn then hinders the change.


I see this in mindfulness training, in fact I have witnessed it in my own journey. I came to mindfulness some years back in the hope that it would make me calmer, that I would be able to cope better in crowd's, to be less anxious about meeting new people.


Little did I know that a battle within had started, me pitching myself against myself, so when I started to see that none of these things seemed to alter, I would practice more and more and wonder what I was doing wrong.


Of course, I had missed a very important but subtle detail "To accept myself just as I am"


It is not easy when there are things about yourself that you perhaps want to change, you might read this and think what he is on today, but I think this is such a crucial point.


You are enough, nothing to fix, nobody else you need to be

It is no surprise that my little mantra these days is "nobody else you need to be, nowhere else you need to go".


My little battle with myself lasted a few years until I came to this realisation and started to forge a life aligned with what I needed, not what was expected.


I suppose this time of year always throws these things up in the air again, for years I would put myself into situations I was uncomfortable with. Put me in a room full of people that I don't know and force me to be happy and I will be in the corner looking all awkward, probably talking to the dog if there was one there. I remember some years back (actually about 20 years ago) going out for new years eve, I disappeared at 9.30 pm and went home, I really couldn't hack it.


Why do we do it to ourselves? Just because some people love a good old party, doesn't mean we all do, does it make me antisocial, no, I love people, it's why I do the job that I do, but because we rarely accept ourselves just as we are, we give ourselves a hard time of it, trying desperately to be something that we are not.


Mindfulness was never going to change me, it won't you either, but what it has done is taught me about acceptance, equanimity and balance. I suppose you just keep getting more of who you actually are. So in a way, you do change, oops here we go, another curious paradox, one for another day hahaha.


Enough


As we go into this new year, I invite you to entertain the possibility that right here right now that you are enough just as you are. When you feel urged to make some changes, first start here, with the realisation that you are absobloominglutely (yes spell check I know) enough.


You are enough, you are life.


Best wishes and much love from R.



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